WEBVTT 00:00.610 --> 00:06.780 Part one, stealth lie detection tactics for detecting deceit and gathering information, tactic three, 00:06.790 --> 00:07.960 the integrity testers. 00:08.410 --> 00:14.140 If you catch a person in one lie, it makes good sense to question everything else that person has said 00:14.140 --> 00:15.130 or will say to you. 00:15.730 --> 00:22.720 With this tactic, you can find out if you're dealing with a person of integrity or if he's willing 00:22.720 --> 00:27.850 to say or do anything to convince you of something that simply isn't true. 00:28.480 --> 00:30.770 And there are many ways to apply this technique. 00:31.090 --> 00:38.050 For example, let's say that you're looking to buy a car and the salesperson says you must act quickly 00:38.200 --> 00:43.480 because two other people have looked at this exact same car and the last one they've got in stock. 00:43.750 --> 00:44.490 Sound familiar? 00:45.100 --> 00:50.950 So you would say something such as, I hear this model retains its value better than any others, or 00:51.100 --> 00:55.780 isn't it true that they're going to raise the prices significantly and next year's model? 00:56.740 --> 01:03.890 These are all statements an honest salesperson will question if he or she hasn't heard of it. 01:04.240 --> 01:10.930 However, if your salesperson is quick to agree with you, it means that he would say almost anything 01:10.930 --> 01:17.860 to make the sale, which also means that is probably doesn't necessarily have your best interest at 01:17.860 --> 01:22.350 heart and maybe doesn't have anyone else looking at the car, even though he claimed otherwise. 01:23.560 --> 01:28.360 For example, a response such as, oh, I didn't hear that or I'd have to check that out, are honest 01:28.360 --> 01:30.330 statements from an honest person. 01:30.730 --> 01:37.210 However, if he just quickly agrees with you or just ignores the question altogether, then he's likely 01:37.210 --> 01:38.920 only interested in making the sale. 01:39.610 --> 01:46.480 You see, by forcing him to tell you something that is against his own best interests, you can easily 01:46.480 --> 01:48.860 ascertain his level of integrity. 01:49.600 --> 01:50.650 Let's take another example. 01:52.830 --> 01:57.510 Let's say that your travel agent suggests the five day cruise getaway vacation. 01:58.280 --> 02:04.850 Now you're looking to really let loose you want a trip that's going to be nonstop fun, but you're not 02:04.850 --> 02:10.850 sure if she's pushing this package because the commission on it is better than the other packages or 02:10.850 --> 02:12.580 if it really is a great deal for you. 02:12.920 --> 02:16.220 So you would say something such as the brochure looks great. 02:16.250 --> 02:21.560 Sandy, I just want to be sure that this is not one of those non-stop party boats. 02:21.740 --> 02:23.740 I'm looking for some rest and relaxation. 02:24.260 --> 02:25.400 Is this that kind of trip? 02:26.440 --> 02:33.010 By asking your question this way, you will know the intentions of your travel agent and the answer 02:33.010 --> 02:39.550 to your question, if she answers yes, then you know that the cruise is not for you or she's lying 02:39.550 --> 02:40.450 to get your business. 02:40.630 --> 02:46.060 Either way, you're not going to book this cruise through this travel agent only by her telling you 02:46.060 --> 02:51.610 things, something that she thinks that you don't want to hear will she establish herself as trustworthy 02:51.610 --> 02:52.210 and honest. 02:52.360 --> 02:57.760 And you will have confirmed that this is, in fact, the cruise that you want to go on and that you're 02:57.760 --> 02:59.980 dealing with the travel agent that you can trust. 03:01.860 --> 03:03.000 Let's take another example. 03:04.170 --> 03:10.170 You asked your waiter for decaffeinated coffee, and five minutes later the busboy comes by with a filled 03:10.230 --> 03:10.980 cup of coffee. 03:11.100 --> 03:12.030 We've all been there. 03:12.660 --> 03:15.970 So you would simply say this is regular coffee, right? 03:16.530 --> 03:22.720 If he confirms that it is either he doesn't care enough to know for sure or it really is regular. 03:22.920 --> 03:28.680 Either way, you know that you may not want to be drinking that cup of coffee because it's not what 03:28.680 --> 03:29.440 you asked for. 03:29.670 --> 03:31.710 However, should he tell you that? 03:31.710 --> 03:32.460 No, I'm sorry. 03:32.460 --> 03:33.540 It's decaffeinated. 03:33.900 --> 03:39.210 Something he thinks that you don't want to hear, then you can be pretty sure that what you're getting 03:39.240 --> 03:40.600 is what you originally asked for. 03:41.220 --> 03:46.380 Now, sometimes you may not get the truth because a person simply doesn't care enough. 03:47.040 --> 03:51.240 Apathy can be very difficult to deal with, and fewer things are more frustrating than dealing with 03:51.240 --> 03:53.250 someone who just doesn't give a darn. 03:54.320 --> 04:01.220 Because you don't have a whole lot of leverage to work with, so the trick here is to gain more leverage 04:01.310 --> 04:03.070 so you've got more bargaining power. 04:03.770 --> 04:05.870 And here's how this technique works. 04:06.410 --> 04:10.640 You simply have to change the equation so that he's got something more at stake. 04:11.360 --> 04:14.170 The technique is the ultimate apathy, buster. 04:14.780 --> 04:15.890 Let's see how this works. 04:16.700 --> 04:20.600 You take your car to the mechanic and he tells you it'll be fixed by Friday. 04:20.610 --> 04:21.230 No worries. 04:21.770 --> 04:27.120 But you just know something is going to happen and it's going to be sitting in the garage all weekend. 04:27.770 --> 04:28.520 What do you do? 04:29.580 --> 04:35.670 So you would say something such as, OK, Joe, tomorrow's fine, just so you know, my wife is pregnant 04:35.850 --> 04:37.620 and she's due any day. 04:38.450 --> 04:45.140 That's our only car, so if you can think of any reason why it may not be ready on Friday, you've really 04:45.140 --> 04:46.470 got to let me know now. 04:46.910 --> 04:48.410 Let's take one more illustration. 04:48.890 --> 04:52.090 You ask the waiter if there's MSG in your salad. 04:52.130 --> 04:54.470 That's an additive that a lot of people are allergic to. 04:55.400 --> 05:00.020 And he tells, you know, no MSG, but he doesn't really seem terribly convincing. 05:00.590 --> 05:07.190 And you want to make sure, therefore, you would say something as, OK, Albert, that's fine. 05:07.520 --> 05:12.920 Just so you know, I'm deathly allergic to MSG one forkful and off to the hospital. 05:12.920 --> 05:14.720 I go after hearing this. 05:14.720 --> 05:20.210 Do you think Albert may want to double check with the chef, notice that the equation changes in these 05:20.210 --> 05:21.080 two scenarios? 05:21.200 --> 05:26.990 Initially, neither the mechanic nor the waiter might have been terribly concerned about your schedule 05:27.020 --> 05:27.920 or where you're eating. 05:28.280 --> 05:35.210 However, their apathy quickly gives way to concern because then now they're dealing with more than 05:35.210 --> 05:36.410 just an inconvenience. 05:36.890 --> 05:40.190 Simply change the stakes and the leverage is yours. 05:40.910 --> 05:47.540 Now, you can turn up the heat with this strategy simply by taking a step closer to the person and looking 05:47.540 --> 05:48.710 him directly in the eyes. 05:49.910 --> 05:54.620 And then you make your assertion, if he's being honest, then he won't become flustered. 05:55.160 --> 06:01.730 But if he's lying or is not sure, he's going to feel trapped, guilty and worried that you may be onto 06:01.730 --> 06:03.170 him emotionally. 06:03.170 --> 06:08.150 When you make eye contact with somebody, it increases the level of intimacy and it makes it harder 06:08.150 --> 06:13.000 for them to tell you something that may not be true, because inside the feeling, a degree of guilt. 06:13.160 --> 06:18.680 So, again, before you make your assertion, simply step in, lock him in the eyes and say the same 06:18.680 --> 06:19.160 words. 06:19.520 --> 06:25.160 And if there's any shot that he's not being 100 percent truthful, he's going to adjust his story to 06:25.160 --> 06:29.390 become more in line with the truth strategy to Future Tense. 06:29.990 --> 06:37.070 This strategy will allow for you to gauge a person's integrity, commitment and honesty with respect 06:37.070 --> 06:39.500 to any future event or situation. 06:40.370 --> 06:47.030 The following examples illustrates a process that is becoming very popular with employee screening tests. 06:49.210 --> 06:54.880 The following questions are asked the prospective employee to determine if he or she is an honest person. 06:55.720 --> 06:56.980 Let me ask you this question. 06:57.070 --> 07:00.250 If you really want the job, how would you answer the following questions? 07:00.640 --> 07:01.040 One. 07:01.480 --> 07:03.160 Have you ever cheated on an exam? 07:03.640 --> 07:06.400 Two, have you ever run through a stop sign? 07:07.060 --> 07:11.370 Three, Do you have a friend who has ever shoplifted before? 07:12.100 --> 07:15.030 Have you ever had thoughts of harming someone that had hurt you? 07:15.520 --> 07:22.270 Now, many of us would answer yes to these questions, and that is precisely the answer a prospective 07:22.270 --> 07:24.060 employee is looking for. 07:24.520 --> 07:25.000 Why? 07:25.660 --> 07:27.910 Because the honest answer is yes. 07:27.910 --> 07:33.070 For most of us, the employers task is finding out who are honest about it. 07:33.190 --> 07:39.520 Stealing a pack of gum when you were nine years old doesn't make you a bad person or an undesirable 07:39.520 --> 07:40.090 employee. 07:40.480 --> 07:43.240 But lying about it today does. 07:43.240 --> 07:46.900 And it speaks to your integrity and commitment to the truth. 07:46.900 --> 07:53.440 Today, the benefit of the strategy is that you'll learn what kind of person you're dealing with and 07:53.440 --> 07:54.040 what is true. 07:54.040 --> 07:54.880 Intentions are. 07:56.070 --> 08:01.950 For example, let's say that Martha's teenage son, who has been away from home and living on the streets 08:01.950 --> 08:10.550 for the past three years, wants to come home now knowing that her son is addicted to heroin, for example, 08:10.830 --> 08:15.230 she questions his sincerity because she's been down this road before with him. 08:16.290 --> 08:21.450 Now, she could say that he could move back home, but only if he enrolls in a drug rehabilitation program. 08:22.440 --> 08:26.100 And he'll probably agree to this whether he has plans to or not. 08:26.730 --> 08:29.030 If he's sincere, of course, he'll say yes. 08:29.370 --> 08:31.950 And if he's lying is also likely to agree to this. 08:32.340 --> 08:36.380 And this doesn't give Martha any indication of her son's true intentions. 08:36.990 --> 08:43.680 But Martha has taken this course and instead she tells her son that he can move back, but only if he 08:43.680 --> 08:46.650 quits cold turkey and starts a job the minute he's back home. 08:47.720 --> 08:53.520 Her son's answer will reveal his commitment to getting well, which is the real concern for her now. 08:53.540 --> 08:58.940 Of course, her son can't get rid of his addiction instantly and get to work the same day, let alone 08:58.940 --> 08:59.950 the same week or month. 09:00.230 --> 09:04.600 So if he indicates that he will she knows that he's lying about his intention to get well. 09:05.240 --> 09:10.660 However, if he says that he will enroll in a program and he'll get a job when he's clean and so on, 09:10.820 --> 09:14.330 she knows that he is sincere in his pursuit of wellness. 09:14.900 --> 09:21.860 When you seek to gauge a person's honesty and commitment, propose a solution that you know is too difficult. 09:22.250 --> 09:29.270 If he acknowledges the difficulty of the solution, he's likely earnest in his desire to reach the specified 09:29.270 --> 09:29.840 outcome. 09:30.170 --> 09:36.230 But if he readily agrees to it, then he has ulterior motives and is less pure with his intentions.